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"Some people create with words or with music or with a brush and paints. I like to make something beautiful when I run. I like to make people stop and say, 'I've never seen anyone run like that before.' It's more than just a race, it's a style. It's doing something better than anyone else. It's being creative."
whatever
This Beats by Dre World Cup ad will give you chills
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theonion:

Man Honestly Thinks He’s Going To Get To Bed Early
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smoke-thc-drop-lsd:

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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theonion:

Single Most Replaceable Person In Company Will Walk If He Doesn’t Get Raise
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theonion:

Man Planning To Rub Up Against Strangers Wondering Where Train Is Already
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theonion:

Deep Down, Area Man Knows He’s Not Done Vomiting
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theonion:

God Wonders What Happens To Humans After They Die
Interactive vending machine rewards keepy-uppy skills with free Pepsi
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theonion:

Study: Average American Now Requires 3 Attempts To Get Up From Seated Position
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theonion:

Fourth-Grader With Shark Tooth Necklace Must Have Killed Great White